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What’s Love Got to Do with It?

Human behavior is a mystifying can of worms. Why do we do what we do? Why do we say what we say; react to stimuli in given ways or reach out to or shy away from opportunities that present themselves to us? “Human nature,” you say, well of course it is. But that doesn’t really get at the WHY of it all.

My take on all this is that we humans operate on a set of paradigms – not all of us on the same paradigms, I might add. And these paradigms (or belief systems) steer our actions and reactions in predictable, repetitive patterns.

Applying this to my own rationalizations, I suspect that my main paradigms are these:

1. Life is as rich an experience as I choose to make it – it is no one else’s job to craft for me the life I might want or expect.
2. People are genuinely interesting and the diversity we encounter should make us more curious than furious, especially when we are met with ways and behaviors that seem foreign or unfamiliar to us.
3. Friends want to be important and helpful in my life, but they don’t want me to wear them out with incessant expectations and demands – nothing kills a relationship quicker than a demanding individual.
4. Work is part brains, part brawn and part bargaining. No one really gets much work done alone. Being smart about your work, being long on endurance toward your work and being able to collaborate with others is where achievement is assured.

By now, while you may be intrigued, I’ve surely got you asking, “What’s Love Got to Do with It?” and why this crazy title anyway?

Well love lies right at the core of these four paradigms: Love for life, Love for people, Love for friends and Love for work. These are the values that make my life tick. They are, I am sure, the belief systems that determine why I do what I do in life, in love and in work.

What are your paradigms? What beliefs drive your actions and reactions? What would you change about yourself if you could? And what new paradigm might you have to adopt in order to reshape yourself?